A year without Pride
Ethan Winters
My first Pride was in Atlanta, 2014, right before my 20th birthday. Looking back on it now, it felt like it was ‘meant to be’ seeing as most Pride events are during the summer - but not this one. Atlanta Pride is celebrated in the middle of October each year. I will never forget the way ATL burst with color and life that weekend, it was like a whole other world. Each year since I’ve brought in my birthday surrounded by rainbows, laughter, and love - until 2020. This is the first year that I haven’t gone to a single Pride and my queer ass is not okay! I miss those moments of pure joy, laying out in the sun with friends musing about our dreams and the smiles as celestial as constellations. I’ll be honest I took it for granted, I said “see ya next year!’ as if it was promised. Pride is more than a parade, more than sex toys and condoms, it is more than rainbows - Pride is a celebration of life! Pride is the creation of Queer people saying “We will not back down, we will not hide, and we won’t just survive - WE WILL THRIVE!” We took the death, murder, hatred, abandonment, and pain the world gave us and created a space of joy, love, and acceptance.
Pride is an event unlike any other. Pride started in the streets of New York in the aftermath of police raids of queer spaces. Most notably of these raids was that of the Stonewall Inn, June 28th 1969. Please check out this link to learn more about the legendary, Stonewall Inn. The moment that brick left the fingertips tips of Marsha P. Johnson, Queer history changed forever. Pride is a protest, Pride is a riot! Now obviously, at this point Pride isn’t a riot in the ‘traditional’ sense of the word anymore - however, it is still a pretty large scale disruption to the cishet homophobes.
I’ve been to about 12 Pride events across the country, and no event is ever the same! The Pride in St. Petersburg, Fl has their parade at night. I was in NYC for World Pride & the 50th anniversary of Stonewall and actually got to see Stonewall! I cried like a baby. And Atlanta Pride is home! When I went to my first Pride I was still a baby gay, with one foot in the closet. Matter fact that weekend was the first time I really called myself Queer outloud - it happened on a MARTA platform when some people in my group told be they were glad I was an ally. Now I thought my GAY excreted from my skin like rain from clouds but apparently the length of my nails counteracted that ~hard eye roll~. I responded without much thought ‘I’m not an ally, I’m Queer as f*ck’. And the rest, as they say, is history. That weekend was incredible, it gave me space to love myself for who I was. Until that day I hadn’t seen huge groups of Queer folx, I didn’t know there were words for people who were more than gay and straight, I didn’t know about all of the flags and what they meant, and most importantly I didn’t know that I didn’t have to force myself to be a woman.
Stonewall Inn, in Ny’s West Village
Pride is a special place because for some people, including me at one point, it is the only place they can just be. It’s where they can claim their truth without feeling alone or judged. With laws that leave Queer people open to discrimination on all levels, it’s hard to be 100% authentic in everyday life. We find ourselves in these endless loops of code switching for safety or to keep the peace. Society has made some large strides towards equity but we are nowhere near the finish line, but at Pride Queer people are allowed to pour into the streets and celebrate authenticity.
I can’t wait for the next time I get to be surrounded by such beautiful people and so much love, I’ll never take it for granted again.
Happy LGBT+ History Month & Happy Pride!