JB: “ For me, I mean, I am kind of like a Klondike bar. I’m crunchy on the outside and squishy on the inside! You have to get through the shell. Most people don’t peg me as the soft emotional person that’s inside because they can’t get through the exterior. My outside presents very much as a fairly heteronormative southern frat boy. If you get me in conversation, you realize I am a big gay teddy bear.
I think all masculine people get policed, by the world, to some degree. I feel like society has an ideal that nobody can live up to and if you are outside of the norm the policing is worse. I think my wife and I presenting as a straight couple just opens people’s eyes to the fact that things can be another way. It gives people options.
I find it interesting how people think our marriage should look a certain way, and it’s not that way. Her dad has a landscaping company and she grew up doing yard work. I didn’t, I’m a city kid, I take care of more domestic things and she tends to do the other work. She identifies as queer and I am gay. People are like, “Oh honey, you have a wife! You can’t be gay.” I’m pretty sure I know who I am. Some people just look at my wife and I and think it’s backwards. I’m like backwards for who? It’s not backwards for us.
There is so much shame in the straight world in terms of sexual wants and needs. I like challenging that. I love breaking perceptions! I flag every day. I flag to work. I wear dress pants. I flag every day as a bottom. We laugh all the time. We’re like we are the queerest straight couple we know!
I feel like there is so much opportunity for people to just explore and be comfortable in their own skin. When people can’t see that there are opportunities like that for them, it makes me sad. ”