Today was a big day!!
SahLeem got up first and I ignored my alarm a few times. Then I woke up and got Jonah out of bed.
I made us all smoothies and mate tea for breakfast. We didn’t have time to meditate today.
Sah told me that he woke up with my face cuddling his neck. He didn’t push me off because I looked tender but I felt nonconsensual and embarrassed. I tend to cuddle anyone or anything in my sleep. I hope my assistants don’t judge me for it if it happens again! Hahaha. Sorry ya’ll!
On the way to our first interview I was trying to get my bank to stop holding my account and a large check we needed.
So, first we met with Chris and his girlfriend Jessica and their sweet dog! I really enjoyed meeting them and meeting a Florida native.
After that, I went to the bank and after much wasted time had my bank account straightened out.
Next, we went directly to another interview. We interviewed a very young Elliott who schooled me on life and I walked away feeling hopeful about the future of the world. Youth are supposed to make us feel like the world can be saved, right? Well, Elliott made me feel that way and I never thought I’d meet another boy as sensitive as me and I’ve been humbly corrected. He told me my aura was light yellow. (Light yellow aura=Emerging psychic and spiritual awareness; optimism and hopefulness; positive excitement about new ideas.)
Tonight, he and I post-interview had a heart to heart. I was able to give back to him by letting him know that no matter what: he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He may not get paid for it, but we’re here to change the world. (trans folks) My advice to him was:
- To never give your life to the arts or helping others unless it’s the ONLY thing that makes you feel alive. if you feel equally devoted to the arts/helping others to being a pharmacist.. be a pharmacist.
- Don’t burn bridges and always be kind especially in the professional world and community- but break away from anyone toxic.
- Try to forgive yourself every day.
- What makes a man a real man is having the capacity to apologize when you're wrong.
Our third interview was with Leland here at New Beginnings. I was again humbled but this time to be in the presence of someone 29 years my senior. They told me about their life growing up in Iowa and also gave me some tips of how to eventually become successful financially. I walked away grateful for everyone who has come before me.
I think my experiences today with Chris, who is exactly my age but an Aries, Elliott, and Leland.. were the real trans timeline. So much of the media creates an idea that the trans experience is one timeline. A kind of A to Z, beginning to an end type of experience. One single trans life is not that but there are decades of us before and to come after. We could make Charles Darwin roll in his grave at how much and what we evolve. I firmly believe trans masculine people can evolve masculinity and help put an end to the patriarchy. I also believe we are just very special and pretty much across the board passionate and sweet.
After three interviews, the three of us (SahLeem, Jonah, and I) got very gay in the pool. SahLeem has met up with his god parents. Jonah is sitting across from me working. When SahLeem returns we are doing a night time meditation.
I am listening to SZA sitting in a yellow glow and beaming the number 7 and dreaming of how fucking amazing my life is going to be after this tour. Maybe it’s the vast sky that hovers over Florida or the potent palm trees that burst at the seams every day like it's their first day being tall here, or maybe it’s the kind eyes of the hundreds of lizards I’ve encountered here, but I am feeling excited about all the connections I have and very clear on what my future life and healing looks like. I feel real love, from many places, for the first time in a long time. It’s clean and it’s easy.
I feel excited to keep growing into myself and truly respecting myself more and more. I feel like I am really finding my purpose on earth. Which is very relieving.
I attribute much of my positivity to SahLeem and Jonah. We are a really great trio. Elliott told me, “When the three of you walked in.. I was taken back. I thought, who are these three Kings?”
Well, I know that I am the tiniest king my friend, and you can be any kind of King you want to be too.
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